It’s finally happening. After 40 years, Mel Brooks will deliver the long-promised “History of the World, Part II” to us. He has a lot of catching up to do.
While Brooks, who will deliver the sequel as a Hulu variety show with help from Nick Kroll, Wanda Sykes and others, teased some segments of the sequel – famous “Jews in Space” and “Hitler” on Ice ”- he’s probably got more up his sleeve. It remains a mystery as to when or what events it will cover. Will there be a Nixon prosecutors kickline? Will we see a furious pilgrim bump his toe on Plymouth Rock? Maybe we’ll see the only exhausted Chinese warrior who posed for all those Terracotta Soldiers.
Details are still scarce, but here’s what we think could be a part of the series.
The siege of Masada
In Brooks’ account, mass suicide is actually mass food poisoning from bad kishke.
The rise of the Soviet Union
On a soundstage in Red Square, Trotsky climbs onto a platform to proclaim “It’s good to be Trotsky!” and is then quickly killed with an ice pick. Lenin takes his place: “It’s good to be Lenin. Lenin then exhales and is embalmed on the screen. Stalin finally comes forward to say “It’s good to be Stalin”. Members of the Politburo surrounding the pulpit timidly move away from its orbit. A title card then reveals that this scene is the prelude to an entry into the “Purge” franchise.
Hitler on ice
It is going as promised. But 75% is Hitler lacing up his skates and waiting for the Luftwaffe ice dancers to come out of the rink.
The Tokugawa Shogunate
What begins with a nuanced and welcome look at a non-Western era quickly turns into a slew of samurai making sashimi with their katanas. It’s bad.
The Burr-Hamilton duel
What if “Hamilton” but klezmer?
Keegan-Michael Key plays all the members of Country Joe & the Fish, getting excited to lead the crowd to applaud the F-word. The bassist disagrees, saying they should say “fudge” instead.
The fall of the iron curtain
This one is more experimental. A sort of “Death of a Salesman” -type meditation on midlife and deferred dreams, it follows the domestic life of a poor West German hammer maker. It ends on a happy note, as a flood of protesters line up to buy their wares and demolish the Berlin Wall. (The final scene includes a David Hasselhoff’s cameo.)
In equal parts Kardashians and Brady, the Moors in question are called Mary Tyler, Mandy and Dudley.
A replay of Versailles stuff from the first movie, starring Brooks as a horned Bill Clinton. This one will be widely seen as callous and derivative of late-night ’90s. It’s maligned in a thousand think pieces, especially for the Busby Berkeley style number on the blue dress. Either way, the whole segment ends with the line, “It’s good to be Ken Starr!” “
Jews in space
Talit-clad space explorers (led by William Shatner) receive transmission from Earth. A freshman congressman is aware of their space lasers. They were also revealed to the world in a Netflix special that attributes malicious intent to their primary directive to “zoom in” and “protect the Hebrew race.” The huge Magen David-shaped ships set sail for the Gefilte Nebula, hoping to cool their heels there until the heat died down.